It is not uncommon for some women to find Mothers Day difficult. In fact, a lot of women struggle with the loss of a mother. This can make Mother’s Day very emotionally hard. Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day we celebrate our Mothers.

Even though I still have my mom I have had a Mother’s Day full of grief.

THE HARDEST (1)

My husband and I tried to have a baby for several years before I finally got pregnant. We were so excited!  I was 6 weeks along when I finally told my family. It was in the same week that I had my first doctor’s appointment.

That appointment was one of the saddest days of my life. I found out that my pregnancy was what they called a blighted ovium. There would be no baby. I thought to myself how can this be? Why would God put me through this? I was better off before.

I went through all the symptoms of pregnancy including nausea. My body was reacting to this pregnancy but I would never have a baby. They monitored me every week and took ultra sounds. I had multiple blood work tests. When I was 12 weeks along the doctors finally told me that if my body did not miscarry then they would have to remove it by a procedure. I was becoming at risk for infection. I ended up having a procedure done. It was a very hard decision for myself and my husband and if I could go back I would definitely do things differently.

Mother’s Day came too soon that year. I was still grieving. I could not make it to church that Sunday. I could not watch all the Mother’s being praised while I felt so down. Looking back I realize it was probably a terrible Mother’s Day for my mom also.

I certainly grieved for the baby I thought I was supposed to have. I questioned God. My relationship with my husband was even a little rough. It was a hard thing for us to go through. It took a few months to a year to somewhat overcome the grief.

That was over eight years ago and this is the first time I have been able to write about it. I have realized that what God did was exactly what I needed in my life. He was showing me the whole time that I could get pregnant. It was just not his timing. I know this because a few years later he brought four children into my life. Four children that needed to have a mom and dad. I adopted those four children. I am not sure if I would have been able to add four children into my life if I already had children of my own. After adopting my children I was blessed with a biological son of my own. I became pregnant three months after the adoption was official.

Sometimes we do not see how sorrows in our life work out for the good. I am able to look back in my life and see God’s loving hand in my life. If you are one of those suffering moms, please know you are not alone. God is there whether you can see him or not.